Veteran's Day - Tuesday, Nov. 11, 2008

A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.

This upcoming Tuesday is Veteran's Day. Knowing how proud my father was to serve in the Navy during the Korean War gives this day special meaning to me.

There is a link under "Rest Stops" called The Gratitude Campaign. It is a movement for those, and "those" should be all Americans, to show a small token of thanks to our soldiers serving now. Please take a moment to watch the video.


And let's not forget....those not coming home....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBWgcSwJyOE&feature=related

If you can read this thank a teacher. If you can read this in English thank a soldier.

THANK YOU TO ALL UNITED STATES VETERANS IN ALL THE BRANCHES OF SERVICE!

To my dad

It has been about a month since my father's death. It is still a very sad, hollow feeling, but I know he is in Tremendous Hands!

I love you Papa!

"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." Revelation 21:4

What to do with an AD patient

Here is a list of things to do with a person with AD. This has gone around the message boards a lot, and so I thought I'd post...different levels will be able to do different tasks.




100 Things to Do With The Person Who Has Alzheimer's Disease

From the Alzheimer's Association:

Sort poker chips

Rake leaves

Roll yarn into a ball

Clean out a pumpkin

Reminisce about a favorite summer

Make a brithday cake

Bake cookies

Use the carpet sweeper

Read out loud

Count tickets

Look up names in the phone book

Read the daily paper out loud

Ask a friend, neighbor, church acquaintance who has a baby or young child to visit

Listen to polka music

Plant seeds indoors or out

Look at family photographs

Toss a ball

Color pictures

Make homemade lemonade

Wipe off the table

Weed the flower bed

Make cream cheese mints (2 lbs powdered sugar, 8 ozs cream cheese, 2 drops peppermint extract, food coloring as desired, knead together and press into mint molds.)

Have a spelling bee

Read aloud from the Reader's Digest

Fold clothes

Have a neighbor or friend who has a calm pet visit

Cut pictures out of greeting cards

Wash silverware

Bake homemade bread

Sort objects such as beads by shape or color

Sing Christmas carols

Say "tell me more" when they start talking about a memory

Put silverware away

Make a Valentine collage

Play favorite songs & sing together

Take a ride

Make a cherry pie

Read aloud from labels

Dye Easter eggs

Make a basket of socks

Take a walk

Reminisce about the 1st day of school

String Cheerios to hang outside for the birds

Make a fresh fruit salad

Sweep the patio

Color paper shamrocks green

Fold towels

Have afternoon tea

Remember great inventions

Play Pictionary

Paint a sheet

Cut out paper dolls

Identify states and capitols

Make a family tree poster

Color a picture of our flag

Cook hot dogs outside

Grow magic rocks

Water house plants

Reminisce about the first kiss

Play horseshoes

Dance

Sing favorite hymns

Make homemade ice cream

Force bulbs for winter blooming

Make christmas cards

Sort playing cards by their color

Write a letter to a family member

Dress in red on a football Saturday

Pop popcorn

Name the presidents

Give a manicure

Make paper butterflies

Plant a tree

Make a May basket

Make homemade applesauce

Finish famous sayings

Feed the ducks

Mold with Playdough

Look at pictures in a National Geographic Magazine

Put a simple puzzle together

Sand wood

Rub in hand lotion with a pleasant scent

Decorate paper place mats

Arrange fresh flowers

Remember famous people

Straighten underwear drawer

Finish nursery rhymes

Make peanut butter sandwiches

Wipe off patio furniture

Cut up used paper for scratch paper

Take care of a fish tank

Trace and cut out leaves

Ask simple trivia questions

Finish Bible quotes

Paint with string

Cut out pictures from magazines

Read classic short stories

Put coins into a jar

Sew sewing cards

Put bird feed out for birds

Gone...back

It has been a while since I've been to this site. I'm not sure why I haven't kept up. I was getting a bit drained, my baby graduated high school and went off to college, adjusting to empty nest has been time consuming. But, I'm back.

My dad still remains a prisoner of his mind. Progression has been slow, but constant ::::sigh:::
Hard to tell what stage...there is anger, paranoia, sadness in his eyes that is hard to watch.

Well, maybe being back to face my journey will help my journey...so, let's pack the bags and hit the road together, again.

Happy 50th Anniversary Mom and Papa!

Today, I partook in a wonderful celebration! A celebration that I will never personally experience. (That fact makes me a bit sad) But, today we celebrated my parents 50th wedding anniversary! It's a few months early, but with this dreaded disease and the grandchildren all going away to school, Mom didn't want to wait.

It was simple, just my parents, siblings and our children. A lovely meal out. Good food. Good wine. Wonderful conversation. My brothers and I had originally talked, about two years back, of having a big party with friends and relatives. Perhaps under different circumstances we still would have gone on with our plans. But our family is very close. We see the changes. Too many people with too much noise would not have made for a good time by all.

After dinner we all went back to my parents for cake and to open cards. Well, more laughs occurred along with lots of tears. My mom spoke of how much she loved my dad and her family. She also spoke of how much she misses him, even as he sat beside her. We all knew what she meant. Dad was listening, but didn't say a word, instead choosing to kiss my mother's hand.

When it came to opening the gift, we presented them with a "gift certificate". On it was the option of a trip to Boston (we have family there including an uncle who is not too well) or a new television. Mom so much would love to make one more vacation with my dad. We knew which option mom would take...the trip! We asked my father which would he prefer. Dad, without skipping a beat and without any hesitation answered, " Oh, a television". It made us all laugh.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad! And dad, we all miss you!

Love. True Love...to all the caretakers in the world

"Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, love is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek it's own interests, it is not quick tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." Corin. 13:4

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now. I was surprised, and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?"

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

Hugs to you Jenni!! Thank you for a beautiful story.

Memories aren't important

Many times during my visits my dad tells me he can't remember things anymore. And if that isn't heart-wrenching enough, he will look me in straight in the eye with his beautiful blue eyes and ask me, "Why?"



Why, indeed. Papa, I wish I could tell you. Or do you know? Do you want me to say there is a horrid disease that is zapping you of your memories? Will my words reconfirm that fact? By saying it does it make it easier? ..better? I don't want to tell you, Papa, in case you don't remember.



Let's talk about what we can remember. Let's have happy thoughts and happy memories. Sometimes the memories you do remember aren't so happy. There have been soooooo many wonderful moments in your life, in our family. Surely we can talk about those.



Or let's just talk about today. If you can't remember something, maybe I can. You don't have to do it all, you know. So we will just talk and I can relay the memories.



Yet....

I think I have come to the realization that memories aren't important. Today is important, not yesterday. Tomorrow isn't even something to bother with as it is not here. So, let's just talk about today, Papa

A Strawberries and Champagne Credo

I received the following years ago from a dear friend. Perhaps some words to live by...

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive, well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, champagne in one hand, strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "WOOOHOOO! What a ride!!"

Father's day

My weekly Sunday visit was wonderfully punctuated this week by Father's Day. I went through card after card, finding the right words that I wanted to tell my dad this year, much more so than prior years. Based on my mom's tears, apparently I did.

The day before was my daughter's graduation party. As I had done in the past, I invited family to stop by afterward to relax and give me more face time than I can have while hosting the party. Last year, Pop just wanted to go home. So Mom fulfilled his wish, missing the family visit. This year, 45 minutes into the party, my dad asked in a half joking manner, "When is this going to be over?" I assured him that mom can take him home anytime he's ready. He asked a few more times through out the afternoon. Well, the end of the party is here and off my parents go, saying their goodbyes. I, and some family members, remained to clean up. 15 minutes later my daughter gets a call that my parents are at the house waiting. Apparently, Papa wasn't ready to go home! I sent my daughter home and rushed everyone through the clean up!

I had set up the game of "cornhole" before leaving that day. It is a game of skill, tossing bean bags into a hole. Last year we played a few times. Papa made an attempt to toss a plum in the hole wanting to play on this night, but unfortunately no one else was interested at the time. I let him know that I would bring the equipment to his house the next day, Father's Day, so that we all could play.

Sunday morning, when he saw me start to bring the game pieces out of my car, he came out of the house, eager to help me set up. He joked about how silly the game was, yet grabbed the bags and began tossing! I love watching my dad play games. He lights up like a child!!

As the day progressed, the rest of the family joined in the game. We all noticed something about the way Pop was tossing. He didn't look at the board like we all were doing. We all studied it. Strategically planning our tosses to land in the hole. Not Pop. He was looking up. Not directly up. But up, at the trees. Or beyond the trees. Or up at some angelic guidance. Or was it at something else? We didn't know what or why, but we all noticed. He was doing as well as the rest of us, even though his eyes only gazed once upon the board before looking up, studying something before the release of his bag.

At the end of what would be the last game of the now evening, we asked him, "Pop, why do you keep looking up?" His reply, "I am trying to gauge where the arc needs to be to line up the decent of the bag so it would hit the hole." We all were completely amazed!! (And I am sure, not being very bright in math, that I did not say exactly what he said.) This is the dad we all know! The analytical dad. The dad who loves math. The dad who remembers there is such a thing as an arc!

Did I mention this was a wonderful weekend,

punctuated by Father's Day?

Sundays

Traveling, as I do every Sunday, to my parents' home is not an obligation or a chore. My daughter has given up Sunday's with her father to come with me when she's not working or has a heavy homework load. My son, recently home from school does the same. I hope they never feel this a burden or a chore.

My parents truly love my children. My mom coddles them in typical "Nonna" fashion. When my daughter can't make it, my father asks where she is? Do they work her too hard? When my son leaves for school, it's almost a countdown for his return. My dad will ask when will he be back? Why did he go so far away when there are good schools around here? When my daugther leaves this summer for college, I can expect the same questions for her, too.

Last week my son stayed with my dad while I took mom to see The Rat Pack at the Sands. It was a Mother's Day gift from my daughter to my mom and myself. Mom was looking forward to some time away, my son was looking forward to catching up with Pop! My son sat with my papa and they worked on crossword puzzles, then watched some of dad's favorite shows. Pop hasn't picked up a crossword in quite awhile, so this was really special. Today, Dad did a silly dance over to my son and said, "Let's go to the computers and play Tri-Peaks. I bet you can't beat me!". Ohhh. A challenge!! Just like when my son was a youngster. My son and his grandfather were soon off. My daughter and I looked at each other and smiled. It's good to see some semblance of the man that is my dad.

I'm glad Papa asks about my children when they are unable to take the Sunday ride. I hope my children never mind the ride when they take it. And I hope Pop always asks, as asking means he remembers!